Navigating Age Gap Relationships Gifts

'You shouldn't be nervous about meeting my parents - you're more their age than mine!'

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"Two, please—one senior and one tootsie."

'You seem young, Perkins. Why, I bet I was incarcerated before you were even born.'

"Sadie, I just heard they discovered lots of ancient cities buried hundreds of years ago in the jungles of Cambodia. They've each got weird geometric patterns outlining what may have been gardens. But no one really knows what they were used for. I guess what I'm asking you is... what were they used for? Y'know, since you were there to see them in their prime. They were used for ritual sacrifices of dullards. For educational purposes, I shall now perform one."

"My grandson said I was "woke" but I'm 90% certain I didn't even nod off"

'They're not reliable.'

'He's a lot older than she is.'

"It's bad enough my kids know more about computers than me, but I'm not taking this from YOU!"

"'Till death do you part?"

"If you at least 'liked' him on social media, it would mean a lot."

Never Trust Anyone Under Thirty

"I enjoy younger guys, but they have to be house-broken."

"He's in his late somethings, but he's cute."

'Glastonbury? You've been up to no good in some young man's bedsit, haven't you! Mud sticks, y'know.'

"This should be hilarious."

"If you ask me, I'd say he was circa 1945 and she's circa 1965."

"Mother's dying to met you."

'How much older is the guy I'm dating?' Well, he can play solitaire without a computer...'

'Still the rhythm method; I simply adjust the speed of his pacemaker.'

"I'm eighteen, Clay. I don't have to work out."

Some old men are filthy with money or without money.

"She's cute. Seems nice. No ring on her finger."

'What are we going to do for the rest of our honeymoon?'

"We'd like to divorce our children."

"You may prefer older women now, but when you're 30, Ms. Rogers will be 60!"

"Jesus Christ! Do you realize that now I actually am fifty when you're eighty?"

"What should I do with a younger woman. Such a young thing wouldn't even know what I mean when I talk about William Shatner as Captain Kirk!"

"The age difference doesn't worry me. I just love hearing your stories about your shipping company."

I know he's old enough to be my father, but I checked with my mother, and he isn't

"My father’s 67… but he’s an old 67."

"Perhaps, given time, but not too much time, you could learn to love me."

'George is much older than me. When he was 6 I was only half his age...'

"At first Jill and I were flattered when the teens wanted to hang out with us, but then we realized why we don't care for teenagers."