Age Gap Relationship Gifts

'Still the rhythm method; I simply adjust the speed of his pacemaker.'

"Two, please—one senior and one tootsie."

'You seem young, Perkins. Why, I bet I was incarcerated before you were even born.'

"I think my parents are pretty old. They remember a time before 'clumping' cat litter."

"Remember the days we could drink and party all night and we thought guys in their 50's were old geezers?"

"I'm your hip replacement."

'You shouldn't be nervous about meeting my parents - you're more their age than mine!'

"We invented your hair."

"'Till death do you part?"

'He's a lot older than she is.'

"He's in his late somethings, but he's cute."

"In my day men waited till they did some damage to their kidneys before they relieved themselves."

"I enjoy younger guys, but they have to be house-broken."

'Well, I find it intimidating. I mean, any minute they could fall down completely!'

"This should be hilarious."

"If you ask me, I'd say he was circa 1945 and she's circa 1965."

"Mother's dying to met you."

'How much older is the guy I'm dating?' Well, he can play solitaire without a computer...'

Some old men are filthy with money or without money.

'The stylist got our instructions mixed up.'

'What's with the nose ring sonny? Wanna be a Bullfrog?'

"You shoved a candy cane in my ear!"

"I'm eighteen, Clay. I don't have to work out."

"Oh god, he's going for the jukebox!"

"And I will tell you something else, this constant drumbeat for change and accountability and and and . . . nose rings . . . is really intimidating."

"Well, in my day kiddo, we were well-behaved puppies: we were not sent to puppy school!"

Yes, there was the age difference, but somehow he always managed to push the right buttons.

"Is this your latest response to every problem...'Let the Millennials figure it out'?"

"She's cute. Seems nice. No ring on her finger."

"Here’s a little walking-to-the-end-of-the-block money."

"You may prefer older women now, but when you're 30, Ms. Rogers will be 60!"

"Jesus Christ! Do you realize that now I actually am fifty when you're eighty?"

'Dear, I believe the expression is: 'never been kissed'.'

"What should I do with a younger woman. Such a young thing wouldn't even know what I mean when I talk about William Shatner as Captain Kirk!"

'What are we going to do for the rest of our honeymoon?'