Naval Adventures T-Shirts

'The first person to breath in gets no food for a week!'

'This must be your first boarding party Simpson!'

USS Party Time.

Desert-Island Joke 2020: "Believe us, you're better off there."

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

Faster, Georges, faster!

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

Sailor in Car.

'Slip Ahoy!'

'If we get out of this alive, I'm going to have a darn good look at your resume.'

'This is Onstar, how may I help you?'

'Isn't he supposed to sit on your shoulder Captain?'

Pirates double up as a scratching post.

'Yes, I do a lot of rowing. How could you tell?'

'He refuses to leave without the tree and their son.'

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

'Just in case there is an accident.'

COWMIKAZES

'It was this big. I swear'

Says here the Navy's going to be patrolling the South China Sea. It could spark a history-changing war. Google tells me the last time a Naval conflict changed history, it was the Battle of Midway. You were alive at that time. How awesome was it to already be ancient when Midway happened? I never expected a question like that from a prepubescent stooge like you. Was it as awesome as when you saw Cleopatra lose at the Battle of Actium? I see you're bringing Google's a-game today.

'That must be the 'Jolly Roger' they're always on about.'

It is my mother's, she uses it as an anchor for our yacht.

A Pirate Egg Prisoner about to Walk the Plank into a boiling pot of water

'It's not a desert island - it's Australia.'

'...the storm raged and the doctor got drunk to steady his nerves..'

Going to Sea.

'I said: Leave my son alone!'

'Carry on sailor, just keep swimming around the coast and stick your head up now and again.'

When bored, we board

'I heard that the new captain was raised on a farm.'

"Are there any extra crew on board? He still looks hungry."

Rats deserting a sinking ship

Distractions.

The Imperfect Storm

'Forget whale song, I'm giving them some death metal.'