Nature Tongue-in-cheek Gifts

"Damn straight, if the food chain ain't broke, don't fix it."

No-Work Orange

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

'My goodness,Ralph,let him have it.It's only a measly old meal worm.'

"Peach fuzz. How does a nectarine know when it reaches puberty?"

Man looks at huge dinosaur fossil in garden, saying: 'It looks great in the rockery, but don't you think you should call the Natural History Museum?'

Just a little seasoning...

"I'm a monster."

Man lets his pigeons out to be fed in the park.

'Economic indicators are down, but cheer up! The history revisionists will turn this into 'the good old days'...'

Watering the garden gnome

Sawfish cuts through the oars of row boat.

"I got you some flowers..watered them, too.".

'Sorry Bruce, but we have to stop seeing each other: I've changed, you have to understand...'

Evolution...the booted flamingo.

'I'm fairly certain it's, what we call in the medical profession, a 'snake'.'

Horse rides over a judge.

'Steroids.'

Tree funeral.

Husband / Wife / On The Side

'Our newest board member wants a ban on animal testing except for rodents.'

"Remember last October when you had on your autumn colors and we were hugging like this? And that tiny chipmunk jumped on my face? That was nuts!"

"I touched another squirrel's nuts. Any other questions?"

"Hail to thee, blithe spirit!"

'Great now put the company logo on the togas and make the building in back look like the Parthenon.'

"Mum, look! It's a Showyourbottom duck!"

"I appreciate you asking for directions. But how reliable is 'Just follow your nose!' from a toucan?"

Cat gardener/cleaner about to step on rake

'Oops, sorry!'

"The good news is you only have an allergy. The bad news is you're allergic to pollen."

Cactus Huggers

The Three Doctors.

"Fascinating, aren't they?"

'Even despite the impending danger, they are still compelled to cross!'

'May I recommend the ketchup '06,sir?'