Nature Novice T-Shirts

"I'm surprised, Caswell. I thought you were a happy camper."

"First time pruning?"

'Alex we talked about this, you can't bring live things home from the lake. . . no buts, they don't want to leave the lake. Let your little friends go.'

'Let's face it,Edgar.you and mother nature don't have anything in common.'

Please buzz off. That's my flower!

"I packed the cooking gear like you told me, Dad...where do I plug it in?"

Today we learned to count to one.

'When I was a Scout, we had to blaze trails without sticky notes.'

"Yes, alright! I know it's a small mountain... I'm only a novice oracle."

'I didn't know ostriches could swim.'

"It was a dark and stormy night, for the Wi-Fi was down."

"This is my first book, but if I like it I may buy another in the near future."

"Admit it, you're lost!"

'I take it this is your first big game hunt?!!'

"Triple whammy."

"Tonight, Daddy's going to teach you how to stay save on the internet."

'It's my first attempt at gardening but so far I've learned...'

"I'm sure he was a great blocker when he was playing, but I doubt he'll be a great ad blocker."

'You've never actually been on a tiger hunt...have you?'

'Hank, I know you're new at turkey hunting, but that isn't the way you call turkeys.'

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

The not-so-living wall

'You may well, Ms. Ferris, one day write a 'Fifty Shades of Grey' bonkbuster, but today your account is one shade of red.'

STRIP Hambone: Training wheels on a computer

'Hey, Pete - I found a set of tracks.'

I really hope the agent likes my submission... - '' - 'This is perfect.' - '' - 'Absolutley perfect.'

Gardening for Beginners

"I've discovered I don't have a head for figures."

"So THIS is what the outside looks like..."

'I can't believe it... no subway, no taxis, no fast food spots, no busses within a radius of 400 meters... my gosh! I've never made such an intensive nature experience!'

"We’re not on the Upper West Side, and there aren’t any ‘better tables’!"

"Well, if you'd married a dentist like I wanted, maybe HE could explain Bluetooth to me!"

"Of course he's not our son. You wanted me to change the baby, didn't you?"

"How'd you know I was from New York?"

Napkin Writer