Nature Humor Lover Gifts

"One more version of 'Climb Every Mountain' and I'll throttle you."

'Good, lots of waxy buildup.'

'Jack is such a nice husband: He treats me like dirt...'

'Me, I've stopped storing food for winter: I order my meals online and they're delivered straight to my door'

'No wonder they're not good tree climbers: Their shoes stop them from using their feet...'

Closed for Summer.

The real cause of cloud to cloud lightning.

WARNING! Keep out of river! Large,dangerous currant!

"Gosh, she's sexy!"

"You are aware that’s a golf ball?"

"Don't worry, he poses no danger. Whenever he approaches, I bring up the topic of politics. To him that's worse than hunger."

"Ol' coy sounds beautiful tonight. He's accidentally sat on a cactus."

Hunter and bull

Going Hunting.

The new 'Beware-of-Bears' app isn't perfected yet.

Walrus Grooming.

'He's asleep, you wuss! Just hit the ball!'

Snail in desert sees sign for shade trees.

"Can't a guy have a bad day in private!?"

"Holy crap!! That's gonna leave a mark."

'That so turns me on.'

'Warts, legs and this... not much of a legacy, dad.'

lemon lemmings

Split the last one?

Yeah, maybe so, but you're not higher up on the food chain. (Published originally on April 28, 2009.)

You'll never believe what that house is for.

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

Antlers: A Deer with Ants for Antlers.

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

Turtle Trailer Court

'Big date tonight, but I've just shed an antler: Do you have superglue?'

"Why on earth do you insist on coming to this miserable, isolated, rocky, small island every year to roost? It's covered in guano! Disgusting..."

Possums that ski.

"Next year we put the cats outside before we hibernate."

"Just the steak for me and my friend will have the carbon dioxide and the water with the sunlight."