Nature Contradiction Fan Gifts

"I'd kill for a fresh fruit fritter."

"I know. Let's wait here until we evolve to an upright position. Then we could reach it."

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

An expecting Flower wearing a 'Baby here, arrow t-shirt' saying BUD

Wildlife A-Z: 'Where the heck are zebras?'

Bear who goes drinking instead of hibernating

Space Pioneer

"Do you know a good chiropractor?"

Incorrect weather forecasts.

'Here it is - the world's largest miniaturization plant.'

Mamoose...

"Is the salmon fresh?"

"I'm more of a day owl."

"No aliens"

'You know there was time there, about 40,000 years ago, when we could have completely wiped them out if we had put our minds to it.'

"Sorry Ma'am, but lamb delivery is only available in Spring..."

"Relax, he's just checking his p-mail."

"I'm real jumpy today. I hope they tranquilize us for one of their experiments."

Overly wordy travel.

Gym/Tan/Donut

"What pheromone are you using?"

Van Gogh. . .Goghing. . . Goghing. . . Goghne.

"Two for Joy."

'I thought you needed some exercise, so I packed 800 pounds of weights in your backpack.'

'Do you realise what a find this is?'

Everytime I fan my tail feathers, I throw out my back.

'It just happens that all my heroes are anti-heroes.'

"So our ant-cestors come from Ant-artica?"

"It's time your father woke up. Go rattle the people's garbage cans next door."

"Hand on a minute! Wipe your feet before you step into my mouth will you!?"

'Every day they get bolder.'

'Good afternoon, Madam. I believe you have a termite problem?'

Sign reads 'Your Ocean Neighbors.'

"God, I love the smell of sunblock in the morning."

'Was that you?'