Nature Chatter Gifts

"Doctor, I find you very easy to talk to."

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

"Look, he just wants to apologize for scaring the daylights out of you yesterday. ... Mr. Squirrel? ..."

"Ed's tree hugging was out of control."

'Hey, that one looks just like a visible mass of condensed water vapour floating in the atmosphere.'

Dog FM. (Man blowing dog whistle into radio microphone).

"Before invasive species, the only things I could grow were weeds and mildew."

"Give her some space! She's overdosing on baby talk!"

"Go ahead, tell him... Your friend is correct. Nuts are fruit. Why won't you ever believe me?"

Mums coffee morning

"I could have been a big celebrity but for my fear of public speaking."

Young girl asks young boy what time he wakes in the morning

Park cleaner orders leaf to come down.

The World's best Camouflage Store.

'Illegal immigrants, if you ask me.'

"Did you get it at Bed, Birch and Beyond?"

Bertie Wooster type teaching a parrot to talk

'Please don't encourage them: Stop trying to communicate with them...'

'I don't mean to discourage you, but go home and play on your own range.'

'I know how worked up everyone is, but let's keep the bird calls to a minimum.'

"The only time he lets 'em out is when he wants the lawn mooing."

'How did you cope before 24-hour rolling gossip?'

"You are sooooo 'grazed!'"

"Who the hell keeps doing that?"

Chris Evans

"He thinks it's important to communicate with his plants."

"BOL means Barking Out Loud."

'What is important, is that not only has Koko the gorilla been taught basic sign language, but that she can use that knowledge to communicate meaningful and complex ideas.'

Desert Island Gossipping

'He heard a voice saying, 'if you build it, they will come.''

'She never learned how to dance.'

When I'm dead, I want to be composted!

Controversy over species-change operations...

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