Nature Talkers Gifts

Mother Nature

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

'Hang on a minute: What does 'IVF' mean?!'

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

"Ed's tree hugging was out of control."

"Look, he just wants to apologize for scaring the daylights out of you yesterday. ... Mr. Squirrel? ..."

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

Silhouette hawk swooping down to catch a silhouette rabbit.

'Hey, that one looks just like a visible mass of condensed water vapour floating in the atmosphere.'

"Toadstool you say? No, this is snailstool now!"

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

Penguin

"Before invasive species, the only things I could grow were weeds and mildew."

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

"Go ahead, tell him... Your friend is correct. Nuts are fruit. Why won't you ever believe me?"

"I see you have extensive wood chuckery experience."

Lion to safari man: 'I'm the king of the jungle and these are my official spokesmen.'

"Dunno...they all look the same to me..."

'Researching the opossum article.'

"It all comes down to the aging and fermentation process."

Alligator Bars

"Killer? Is that what they call us? Eh don't say killer tiger or killer charm or killer wolf."

Park cleaner orders leaf to come down.

The World's best Camouflage Store.

"Well, I deal with death and carrion every day: Laughing is a therapeutic way of avoiding depression..."

'Tell us about the time you met Charles Darwin, grandad.'

"Have you noticed Carl never leaves the field to go to the bathroom?"

'Illegal immigrants, if you ask me.'

"This heat transfer dance had better work. I'm freezing my tail off!"

'I know how worked up everyone is, but let's keep the bird calls to a minimum.'

Crossing Guard to rabbit at Deer Crossing: 'Not so fast, buddy - you don't look like a deer to me!'

"My landing gear won't come down. I have a cramp."

"Did you get it at Bed, Birch and Beyond?"