Nature Communicators Gifts

'Got time for a little girl stalk?'

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

So you're a mocking bird...

'What's the big deal about acid rain? Can't we just make alkaline rain to counteract it?'

"Look, he just wants to apologize for scaring the daylights out of you yesterday. ... Mr. Squirrel? ..."

"Ed's tree hugging was out of control."

"We evolved from asteroids"

'Hey, that one looks just like a visible mass of condensed water vapour floating in the atmosphere.'

"Before invasive species, the only things I could grow were weeds and mildew."

The next wave

"Go ahead, tell him... Your friend is correct. Nuts are fruit. Why won't you ever believe me?"

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And let such sacrilege go uncontested? Never! I demand equal time for alternate explanations of things.'

'Hey dude, just got the SMS of the Wild...'

Meanwhile, back on planet earth...Greenland's ice sheet is melting faster than previously thought, sea levels could rise..."

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

A mathematical question for you. Do we divide or multiply?

Climate Conference. I'm glad you enjoyed my speech, but please don't call it the "high-water mark."

"Dunno...they all look the same to me..."

"Hmm. . . Human droppings. . .!"

Ornithologist

'And the actual value of the Hubble Constant is critical to the question or whether our Universe will continue to expand forever, or...POP.'

'Researching the opossum article.'

'Now we'll have to explain it to the press. Remember - keep it superficial.'

I hate it when the moon shows his dark side...

"Killer? Is that what they call us? Eh don't say killer tiger or killer charm or killer wolf."

The World's best Camouflage Store.

Park cleaner orders leaf to come down.

'Illegal immigrants, if you ask me.'

'I know how worked up everyone is, but let's keep the bird calls to a minimum.'

"Did you get it at Bed, Birch and Beyond?"

'Before you attack, may I ask you to ensure that my twelve defenceless, soon to be starving kids, get my will?'

"The only time he lets 'em out is when he wants the lawn mooing."

'I don't mean to discourage you, but go home and play on your own range.'