Nature Communicators Pillows

'Got time for a little girl stalk?'

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

So you're a mocking bird...

'What's the big deal about acid rain? Can't we just make alkaline rain to counteract it?'

"Ed's tree hugging was out of control."

"Look, he just wants to apologize for scaring the daylights out of you yesterday. ... Mr. Squirrel? ..."

"We evolved from asteroids"

'Hey, that one looks just like a visible mass of condensed water vapour floating in the atmosphere.'

"Before invasive species, the only things I could grow were weeds and mildew."

Meanwhile, back on planet earth...Greenland's ice sheet is melting faster than previously thought, sea levels could rise..."

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

"Go ahead, tell him... Your friend is correct. Nuts are fruit. Why won't you ever believe me?"

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And let such sacrilege go uncontested? Never! I demand equal time for alternate explanations of things.'

The next wave

'Hey dude, just got the SMS of the Wild...'

A mathematical question for you. Do we divide or multiply?

"Hmm. . . Human droppings. . .!"

Ornithologist

"Dunno...they all look the same to me..."

'And the actual value of the Hubble Constant is critical to the question or whether our Universe will continue to expand forever, or...POP.'

'Researching the opossum article.'

'Now we'll have to explain it to the press. Remember - keep it superficial.'

I hate it when the moon shows his dark side...

"Killer? Is that what they call us? Eh don't say killer tiger or killer charm or killer wolf."

Park cleaner orders leaf to come down.

The World's best Camouflage Store.

'Illegal immigrants, if you ask me.'

"Did you get it at Bed, Birch and Beyond?"

"The only time he lets 'em out is when he wants the lawn mooing."

'Before you attack, may I ask you to ensure that my twelve defenceless, soon to be starving kids, get my will?'

'I don't mean to discourage you, but go home and play on your own range.'

'I know how worked up everyone is, but let's keep the bird calls to a minimum.'

Research Concludes: We are destroying Earth.