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"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

"Space is curved and time is relative? Yeah, OK...I'm calling you a cab right now, buddy."

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

"Where do you think we are in the food chain right now?"

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

"What if Newton came up with a different idea from a fallen apple."

"And on the twelfth day the Lord just puttered around... Did I put that cloud there? Looks out of place. Did I do that? Oh, well..."

"Quantum Physics"? How am I going to learn all of this stuff? A bit at a time?

"Could you tilt the Earth just a bit more away from the light?"

'You may feel lost and insignificant at first working for us.'

The Male Atom: Sex, Sport, War and Good Intentions.

"Of course you can't put your finger on it. It's a hypothetical particle."

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

"Ever wondered about the development of mankind if, just before the big bang, a voice said 'Oops!'"

Max Weber

"If the universe is expanding, that's all the more reason to get back to the city."

Progress?

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

"OK, now what's the meaning of the other eight?"

'Hello, are you an endangered species or can I eat you?'

Telling Self to Buzz Off

Time, Temp, Today's Neutrino Mass

'Harnessing the Black Hole.'

"I don't know why I'm here - I don't need a haircut."

'Please don't read anything into the fact that I'm wearing loafers. I assure you I'm a very energetic worker.'

"If the universe is expanding by 3 trillion cubic light years per second, why can't I find an apartment?"

That's no big deal, a lot of people get Siskel and Ebert mixed up

"Anyway, it turned out that god was a ruddy algorithm after all!"

Yeah, I woke up as a roach because I was so full of existential dread – Why did you wake up as a dung beetle?

What brings you to therapy, Rudy? Dr. Noodle. I've been feeling like my whole life is on pause. And I can't find the remote to unpause it. Meanwhile, everyone else's stories are proceeding apace. They're all into the second act already. They've all had plot twists, and hero's journeys, and epic love scenes, and thrilling reversals of fortune ... Meanwhile, I'm still paused on the opening credits because no remote. Why don't you get up off the couch and unpause it manually? You can do that?

Of course I believe your 'Alien Abduction' story...

'Well, that brings us up to my third birthday...'