Natural Order Analyst T-Shirts

"Where do you think we are in the food chain right now?"

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

"Go away, he's not done playing Cowboys and Indians yet."

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

How Nature Senses a Change in the Weather

Duck Hunt

They try, but those crows can't make noises they used to. The lost caws!

"We've discovered they mate for life, as long as they don't discuss politics."

"Walk, hell- I gotta dance."

Annie, the Reptile version: 'The sun will come out tomorrow! Tomorrow! You will sun yourself tomorrow!'

Cat says of armadillo, 'It's one of those big armored rats.'

"The raw material was all around me: That's how I got started as a sculptor..."

"Want me to talk to the squirrel's mother, or would you prefer to handle it on your own?"

". . . So that's 4 birdies, 1 eagle, 2 ferrets and a rabbit!"

Cat tries to reach a birdfeeder on stilts.

"It can't be much of a life working all day, but at least he gets to wear a stripey jersey."

"I've got you in my sights now, Mister Squirrel, with your fluffy tail and those tiny hands clutching that itty-bitty nut. Aww, you must be hungry...poor little fella... I love you, Mister Squirrel."

"I could catch a bicyclist, well maybe not a bicyclist, but I could catch a jogger, definitely."

What does aloof mean?

The prying mantis,

"You're right—there's no such thing as personal space in a hibernaculum."

Monkeys/Humans in the zoo.

"It says here that humans are the only member of the animal kingdom who can have sex any time, any place."

"If you can’t beat ’em, roll around in their decaying carcass."

"Beware of the frog"

Exciting potato bugs.

"The only problem with living at the top of a mountain is the constant stream of people coming to ask stupid questions."

Farmer and FIsherman

"I don't think I can fit that into my schedule, Irv. I've got a fishing boat to attack this morning, a beach to terrorize this afternoon and a feeding frenzy this evening!"

I think it's so cute when the kids camp out in the backyard.

Saguaro Cactus Regrets.

"This isn't helping my migraine."

The Adrenal Gland Answers Your Questions