National Security Analyst Pillows

'Homeland security! That sign has 'threat' written all over it!'

The Anti-Agent

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

"We seem to be spending more on defence than on things to defend"

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

"National security adviser"

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

'Now that everyone's street is online, we're mapping interiors.'

"Check the setting. I'm sure the CIA isn't hacking into our appliances just to burn your toast."

"Good artists borrow, great artists steal."

'Wouldn't it be cheaper to apologise to the Middle East?'

CIA, 'Confound it, Ruggles -- we're SUPPOSED to be worrywarts'

Defence Cutbacks.

"We occasionally remove content that is considered to be subversive, or a potential threat to public order and national security."

Invade/Fail/Deny

'Is that a suspicious package in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'

Aggression/Security

Bureau of Disappearing Civil Liberties.

'Who said the Germans don't have a sense of humour? Just look at that card Hans Greber and we have haven't been shot at all day.'

"I'm a common dolphin, I swim the west coast of Scotland foraging for fish and squid."

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."

"Mr. Miranda....we are using 'schedule 7' to hold you on suspicion of knowing someone who knew someone who was a whistleblower...."

The Thinker

Arms race - USA and Russia.

Workers are running out of one door labeled 'Reactive Business Intelligence,' while another worker in the next room sits calmly behind a door with a sign that reads, 'Proactive Business Intelligence.'

HUAWEI 5G

"I've entered your PIN for you. "

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."