Narrative Wrangler T-Shirts

Temporary and Permanent Writer's Block

"The desktop skills test was a little worrying,56% couldn't manage 'Word' 75% were confused by 'Excel' and 43% wanted to know what channel 'Eastenders' was on."

"Can we please just stick to the core business?"

She - Interpreter - He.

"No—You're thinking dog years—Editor years are twice as many."

Sulk Shows

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

Rita's PhD defense wasn't going well."

"Dammit Harold, you know I hate that mask!"

Editor.

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

'Is there such a thing as over communicating?'

"I fell in love with her. Then she mutated."

"Ain't isn't a word, and you know it."

Writer: Humour and Tragedy.

"If you're not on the brink of despair you're part of the problem"

'There are no stupid questions, so let's also agree there are no stupid answers.'

Macho talk from down in accounting.

"Marriage is driving me crazy and she's my designated driver!"

STRIP Hambone: Number cruncher

"Could you speak a little louder? I'm recording this."

"Stop! Information overload. I need to rebuffer."

'For people to think we just pluck figures out of THIN AIR is RIDICULOUS, we use a bucket.'

Attack of the 65 - Inch Woman

'Whenever he feels under attack, he calls for backup.'

"My seven-year-old is a prince, but my forty-seven-year-old is a pain in the ass."

The Critic...

'It's always about you isn't it, George? Wouldn't you like to hear about the terrible day I've had for a change?'

Literary rain

Diplomacy

"I see here the party of the first part says 'potato.' The party of the second part says 'potahto.' The party of the first part says 'tomato,' the party of the second part says 'tomahto.' Both parties, by mutual agreement, wish to call the whole thing off

"He's fluent in 24 computer languages and never says a bloody word to me."

"You always insist on having the last word!" "Sorry!"

Statistics Research: You Can Fool 45% of the People 55% of the time, but you can't fool all the people all the time.