Narration Gifts

Around the Bend

"Tell us again — a little less graphic."

Banned Audio Books

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

Characters jumping out of a book.

"More rescue efforts, less screenplay."

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

'I'm not being punished! I'm reading because I happen to enjoy reading!'

"Dad, can we have a bedtime narrative?"

"We've done a rigorous examination of your business plan using the latest algorithms to model future profits. . . which way up would you like it?"

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

'I'll give your note to my parents but our family policy is to never negotiate with terrorists.'

Sign in a bookshop window offers chance to meet the narrator of the audio book.

The writers group met every Tuesday for support and fellowship.

It's an autobiography of a guy who spent his whole life trying to get his first @#^& book published. Editor.

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

"That was too many fresh original voices for one night."

"I feel that I have at least one more unpublished novel in me."

'Is this your first book launch?'

"It all happened so fast. 'Notable Book of the Year' to the remainder shelves to HERE in just six months!"

A book reviewer reads between the margins.

"I'm not spinning - I'm contextualizing."

My Aunt's Left Hook Expels Uriah From The Chaise

Writer Services: We fix plot holes.

"...And I like how you switched from the first person narrative to third person—impressive." "Thanks."

This new writer we've got is really working out, dear. I feel reinvigorated! Like someone's breathed new life into me! Why, I feel like anything can happen now! Like we can do things that are out of the ordinary! things we almost never do. I said Not tonight, dear.

'I'm a writer.' - 'What a coincidence, I'm a reader.'

"But you didn't say they had to make sense - you just told us to write a thousand words a day."

The Truth

"It was only when I started to write the story of my life that I realised I'd forgotten to have one."

"I wrote, self-published and remaindered it myself."

The central metaphor of her novel was a fly.

'Your new book is full of mistakes: the critics will have a field day.'

"See, that's the problem with you new breed. You take rejection too personally."