Narration T-Shirts

Around the Bend

"Tell us again — a little less graphic."

Banned Audio Books

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

Characters jumping out of a book.

"More rescue efforts, less screenplay."

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

'I'm not being punished! I'm reading because I happen to enjoy reading!'

'I'll give your note to my parents but our family policy is to never negotiate with terrorists.'

"Dad, can we have a bedtime narrative?"

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

"We've done a rigorous examination of your business plan using the latest algorithms to model future profits. . . which way up would you like it?"

Sign in a bookshop window offers chance to meet the narrator of the audio book.

The writers group met every Tuesday for support and fellowship.

"That was too many fresh original voices for one night."

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

"I feel that I have at least one more unpublished novel in me."

'Is this your first book launch?'

Writer Services: We fix plot holes.

"It all happened so fast. 'Notable Book of the Year' to the remainder shelves to HERE in just six months!"

A book reviewer reads between the margins.

"...And I like how you switched from the first person narrative to third person—impressive." "Thanks."

My Aunt's Left Hook Expels Uriah From The Chaise

"I'm not spinning - I'm contextualizing."

"But you didn't say they had to make sense - you just told us to write a thousand words a day."

'I'm a writer.' - 'What a coincidence, I'm a reader.'

The Truth

"It was only when I started to write the story of my life that I realised I'd forgotten to have one."

"I wrote, self-published and remaindered it myself."

The central metaphor of her novel was a fly.

'My bed time story sounds a lot like your blog.'

Charles Dickens.

Writer breaks in new electric typewriter.

'Your new book is full of mistakes: the critics will have a field day.'