Narcissist's Nightmare Gifts

"Apparently the way to a man's heart is through his six pack."

"I'll be a little late. I'm working a double shift."

Barcode Dreams

Born of the Dead

"We supply the exercise and nutrition program, but it's up to you to supply the narcissism."

Cow Christmas anxiety dreams!

"I'm diagnosing selfie-steem issues."

"I love it when you quote my blog back to me."

Psychiatric Clinic. I'm not sure giving a narcissist an hour a week where it's all about him counts as therapy.

'It was your imagination. There's no little kid under your bed!'

Selfie Man

"On a personal note, my wife, Ann, and I have agreed to separate, as I've fallen in love with the sound of my own voice."

Poser

"Do you know what your problem is, Duane? You're too full of yourself!"

Narcissus

"If you think you've earned this by consistently retweeting my tweets -- you're right."

'Egomania, you say? How on earth did you diagnose me so quickly?'

"Let me see, 3 hours on instagram, 2 hours on twitter, another 2 writing your blog and the rest of the day presenting your youtube channel. Hmmm, I believe your tiredness could be the result of 'me'."

The casual selfie

"Welcome to my youtube channel, today I will show you how to photoshop your body so it looks just like mine..."

"What does it all mean?"

Football anagrams(Did vain goal.). Answer: David Ginola.

Today's guest will discuss his narcissistic personality disorder. This relentless spotlight-hog drove everyone from his life! Click. Hey! He sounded interesting. How come you turned it off? I'm not giving him the attention. That's learn him!

"I'm awesome!!"

'You were talking in your sleep again.'

Pre-selfie, Selfie, Post-selfie.

If he had a nightmare, let him crawl in bed with us. Ok. But we don't have children.

"In my nightmares I try to cry out but never can."

'Think of the advantages of having a monster living under your bed! You won't have to clean because I'll scare all the dust bunnies away.'

Instagramaphone

"However, everything else but time and tide waits for me!"

'But enough about me. . . tell me about yourself.'

'Egomania in Transylvania.'

'We haven't got much time left together.'

'Isn't that Narcissus over there?' - 'Here's lookin' at me, kid!'