Napkin Novelist Mugs

"I decided to burn all my previous napkins and start fresh."

Napkin Writer

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

"You're going to hate yourself."

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"Meet The Author"

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

The DaVinci Code

Reading my Critics

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

Honoré de Balzac

Jean-Paul Sartre

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

'The C minus was sufficient. I didn't need the advice against hiring a literary agent.'

John Bunyan

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

'I have a best selling novel on the tip of my tongue...'

Duke of Clarence (Later William IV) Promenading with Family

'Listen up, Baskerville! This is MacDonald! Those hounds of yours are scaring the E-I-E-I-O out of my animals!'

Trilby - 'Je prong!'

'Dad's bedtime story was decent, but the special effects were non-existent.'

"Author does not do tricks."

Sue the Author 3PM

Murder in Apartment 6-K

Iris Murdoch

'As a famous writer, could you do something to help jumpstart my career?'

'Ms Simpson, I believe I've finally done it. I've written the Great American Memo.'

Thomas Hardy