Nanny Life Navigator Pillows

"Having nannies really changes you."

What did I tell you about covering your bottom when you sneeze?

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

"I'm still looking for the lap of luxury."

A Preschool of Fish

Better times ahead.

Snooze buttons for cat owners

Everyone agrees: Aunt Juanita needs a man.

'This is Tyler; he's mommy's precious little feral-angel.'

"My inner child feels threatened by my inner baby."

"I'm taking 'moving back in with the parents' studies."

'And you're sure you handed the baby to me?'

"Funny, I don't remember signing up for this."

'sugar and spice my eye.'

'That never gets old.'

Completely out of diapers and facing a seven-hour layover, Marsha happens upon a diaper scalper.

'None of the other things had instructions.'

"If we synchronize our tantrums, they'll have to stop talking. You in?"

"Of course I love you, I'm just busy with other men."

Daisy Diaper Service

Midlife: You Are Here.

"Mommy is having another baby. Let me assure you that any paradigm shift will be incremental, core values remain family-centric, and Mommy is committed to assimilation and building synergy."

Wiseguys/Smartasses/Eggheads/Smarty Pants

Doubt or Certainy

'Our computer responds to voice commands, but our kids don't.'

"You're six years old and I'm your mother! - I'm SUPPOSED to impose my moral standards on you!"

'We are considering a nursery expansion.'

"Let's split up the jobs for taking care of the baby. I'll take care of what goes in to him. . . you take care of what goes out!"

"There's got to be an easier way to lie around the house."

"I think he's outgrown the baby gate."

Babies

"Mom, Suzy keeps coming closer than 6 feet to me."

"Everything started when I became a stay-at-home-mom of three little monsters."

Mono-Tasking, Multi-Tasking, No-No Tasking and Nada Tasking.

'I feel much safer living in a gated community.'