Naive Questioner T-Shirts

My first rodeo

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

'Thanks to the internet it is now possible to be extremely well-informed and completely wrong at the same time!'

Do Guns Kill?

"Daddy, why do people pull round pizza from square boxes and cut them into triangles before they eat them?"

'If it 'tells' the time, why do I have to look at it?'

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

Ostrich Curoisities

"How do I know God is not real? For the same reason I know people on TV can't see me."

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

'Is there a God? God knows...'

Why can't you use the brains God gave you? Oh, shoot, I think this is Bob's.

'Mummy, what's a daddy one of those called?'

What's the antidote for wheat germ?

'...And here's one of the artist's earliest paintings.'

"Baldo, check it out...it's advice for people who've won the lottery."

'You may choose either everlasting life or whatever is behind the curtain.'

Upside down question mark hanging from fishing line.

"If being normal is so natural.....why is it such a strain?"

"I have a movie plot idea... A girl is kidnapped at birth. She's threatened, oppressed, and lives in constant fear. Here's the twist - the kidnapper is only in her mind."

God hounded by the media.

'I can't wait to grow up and get a job so I don't have to bring work home.'

"Do you think it's an accident of history that Freemasons live in houses and we live in trees?"

'Am I covered if a car falls on my tree?'

"Does this bird make me look fat?"

Some owls aren't content just knowing who.

How many calories in a booger?

Ask Sadie. Actual questions from actual readers! Celestial Sadie, In the Western sky after sunset, Jupitor can be seen nearly aligned with Venus. What do you make of this? R. Yates. Excellent question. That reminds me of a long lost civilization, in which there was no such thing as a typo. Where no one ever hit the wrong key because they wrote letters by hand. Eventually, it became so obsessed with speed that it began typing everything, and so inconsiderate that it soon stopped bothering to proo

Frequently Asked Questions

'But what is a recession, Father?'

"So, when are you gonna find a woman?"

"Did you say girl cheese sandwiches? Why can't I have a boy cheese sandwich?"

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

Wow! — this discredits all my theories.

"If you have to ask, you can't understand the answer."