Nail-biting Buster Gifts

'If you don't stop biting your nails, you're going to ruin your teeth.'

North Pole

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

It beached on a pile of plastic bottles, so they were able to just roll it back out.

'I never get a good night's sleep. Thank God for these office meetings!'

"Be patient. It's almost dead."

'I'm getting some unusually high readings around you.'

'I guess they're not here for contact.'

SWAT Team (going in to catch a fly).

Basketball Tourney. Ernie, you're crushing everybody in the office basketball pool! You've picked the winner of every game so far! It's amazing because you don't know a thing about basketball. For you, picking the winner of every tournament game is like correctly guessing a coin flip sixty seven times in a row! No, I have a system! It seems everybody has an opinion about the tourney so I listened to what my investment advisor thought about the teams. And with his record of picking winners

Flies up the ante!

"Well, you know what they say —'The water's always bluer on the other side of the trash fence.'"

Car Emissions

'His debugging skills are exceptional.'

The company's going bankrupt,you'll need to get someone in to bite my nails for me!

Oil Spill

"No Littering" sign in space.

'Not that insect, silly! That's my husband.'

Reality home-improvement show.

"I tried killing an annoying bug with my nail gun. It seemed like a good idea at the time."

Toe-Tickling Machine

Priest fighting the Zika mosquito by getting rid of its standing water.

MRSA Guide to hospital.

"Aha! - there's a nice spot for a picnic..."

Dave had yet to master his new nail machine gun.

'Triple your money back! 100% effective against pesticide resistant insects! Guaranteed!

'Seriously, honey, if there's a bug in the kitchen, just step on it!'

Cocaine discovered in UK shrimp. . .

"All the ticks I removed over my summer vacation,' by Robbie Butler..."

The Job Interview

Human Tree

Monitoring the Air Quality

'Me…me…catch me!'

'Stop biting your nails son and get to sleep!'

'Don't be frightened, he's only been 'n' gone 'n' done his back in again.'