Mythological Mischief Pillows

"I love you, you're special and though my key was stolen, perhaps you should maybe get back in the box."

Hamish Harris. The boy bon vivant.

The Tooth Ferret

"It's my wife - she's trying to lure ships to their doom!"

'... No, actually. He's short, blond and ugly.'

"You want England to win what!? Put me back in the lamp!"

God creates humans.

"Hmm. . . it looks like he was struck on the head with a blunt object. . . If only I could find out what the murder weapon could be. . ."

'He says its a subprime fruit we can have at an adjustable rate, what's the worst that could happen?'

'Well, there went Atlantis -- I told You not to use low bidder!'

'What's my fortune then?!

"My math teacher says I should consider becoming a teacher some day."

A trap for Santa

"As you can see, we allowed you to bring your cell phones; however, this is hell, so even local calls will be charged as roaming."

14! What does that mean? We started the day with 100 pastries. We sold 85. There should be 15 left. But there are only 14. Overreaction coming. STOLEN SCONE!!! Breathe.

Santa's sleigh up on cinder blocks.

"Oh, awkward - my ex. . ."

"Watch this!"

'It's some kind of silly note from the barbarians, sire. It says, 'We will, we will, rock you...'

"I should've never taught you to shake."

'-and leave the money in used notes in the left luggage department...'

"Hi! I'm on the trina."

',,,'Sidekick' not a psychic'

"Well, it seems that St. Patrick didn't drive all the snakes out of Ireland."

Flirtation

"They think I made them in MY image? How did they get THAT idea?"

"...and on line 14 you claim 42 arrows and a battle ax as pillaging expenses, but on line 50 you claim them again under arsenal depreciation."

The Cornucopia Trap

"The monarch appreciates your wit, but thinks your timing sucks."

Image of devil on poster with caption 'Wanted Undead or Alive'.

'Sure, I have experience with hazardous materials. As a kid my brother and I loved breaking into the chemical dump and playing.'

"Let's see how many times I can get this guy to use my name in vain."

Careful Fred, looks like another leper con.

"Hello, is this 999?"

'I understand he hacked into St. Peter's computer...'