Mythical Mischief Pillows

"I should've never taught you to shake."

Hamish Harris. The boy bon vivant.

The Tooth Ferret

"How the heck could you forget your sword?"

'Naughty boy, I see you clawing my curtains.'

Knights

"It's my wife - she's trying to lure ships to their doom!"

"Hmm. . . it looks like he was struck on the head with a blunt object. . . If only I could find out what the murder weapon could be. . ."

'... No, actually. He's short, blond and ugly.'

God creates humans.

"You want England to win what!? Put me back in the lamp!"

'He says its a subprime fruit we can have at an adjustable rate, what's the worst that could happen?'

'Well, there went Atlantis -- I told You not to use low bidder!'

'I could have sworn it was the cavalry!!'

'What's my fortune then?!

"That's not the boiling oil, that's my casserole!"

A trap for Santa

14! What does that mean? We started the day with 100 pastries. We sold 85. There should be 15 left. But there are only 14. Overreaction coming. STOLEN SCONE!!! Breathe.

Santa's sleigh up on cinder blocks.

'I can't play any tunes, it's just used for hiding my farts after dinner.'

"Oh, awkward - my ex. . ."

'Who gave you that black eye?'

"Watch this!"

"For crying out loud, what's all that racket down there? Are those kids raiding the kitchen again?"

'I never dreamed that Lady Godiva would run AGAINST me!'

'It's some kind of silly note from the barbarians, sire. It says, 'We will, we will, rock you...'

'-and leave the money in used notes in the left luggage department...'

Flirtation

"Well, it seems that St. Patrick didn't drive all the snakes out of Ireland."

'What's the score?'

',,,'Sidekick' not a psychic'

"...and on line 14 you claim 42 arrows and a battle ax as pillaging expenses, but on line 50 you claim them again under arsenal depreciation."

The Cornucopia Trap

"They think I made them in MY image? How did they get THAT idea?"

Image of devil on poster with caption 'Wanted Undead or Alive'.