Mythical Mischief Pillows

"I should've never taught you to shake."

Hamish Harris. The boy bon vivant.

The Tooth Ferret

'Naughty boy, I see you clawing my curtains.'

Knights

"It's my wife - she's trying to lure ships to their doom!"

"You want England to win what!? Put me back in the lamp!"

God creates humans.

"Hmm. . . it looks like he was struck on the head with a blunt object. . . If only I could find out what the murder weapon could be. . ."

'... No, actually. He's short, blond and ugly.'

'He says its a subprime fruit we can have at an adjustable rate, what's the worst that could happen?'

'I could have sworn it was the cavalry!!'

'Well, there went Atlantis -- I told You not to use low bidder!'

'What's my fortune then?!

"That's not the boiling oil, that's my casserole!"

A trap for Santa

Santa's sleigh up on cinder blocks.

"Oh, awkward - my ex. . ."

"Watch this!"

'I never dreamed that Lady Godiva would run AGAINST me!'

'Who gave you that black eye?'

'I can't play any tunes, it's just used for hiding my farts after dinner.'

',,,'Sidekick' not a psychic'

"Well, it seems that St. Patrick didn't drive all the snakes out of Ireland."

'-and leave the money in used notes in the left luggage department...'

Flirtation

'What's the score?'

"...and on line 14 you claim 42 arrows and a battle ax as pillaging expenses, but on line 50 you claim them again under arsenal depreciation."

The Cornucopia Trap

"They think I made them in MY image? How did they get THAT idea?"

Image of devil on poster with caption 'Wanted Undead or Alive'.

"The monarch appreciates your wit, but thinks your timing sucks."