Mythical Satire Lovers Gifts

'An apple? Haven't you got any superfoods?'

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

Government Offices / In tray, No Exit tray.

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

'Adam, you left the toilet rock up again!'

"But you can eat as much as you want from the tree of bullshit."

Hot Tub Frosty

Jack in the box on strike.

"We're to stop talking about 'budget cuts'. Apparently it's depressing for staff and clients..."

"Bob, the whole Cupid thing is a metaphor."

"Why can't you be more like little Hester Prynne? She's getting straight A's."

'To balance last week's twenty-six point sermon, this morning's message will be pointless.'

Europa takes a selfie

"But they told me I was too big to fail."

David and Goliath.

'Mom... Dad... I'm a bottom feeder!'

'The secret of life has been unknowable ever since we assigned it to a committee.'

God asks an angel for change for a tower viewer.

"Stop calling everything Kafka-esque

"I've had my eye on you for some time"

'Sir, we're just not reaching them. Only a small percentage of people own vinyl records, and hardly anyone thinks to play them backwards.'

Hamlet.

"Add Your Own Caption Week # 222"

"I really gotta turn off these notifications."

'You've a broken lamp and your underlay's dangerously worn.'

"It's a recipe for apple pie."

'You rejected my great grandfather and my father. I demand you recuse yourself!'

'Some dope wished to live for a thousand years, so I turned him into a sequoia!'

Coping with Normalcy

"This new guy's really good!"

'Down here, greed is totally unregulated.'

'Listen I think we should break up...it's not you... it's that thing on your face.'

"Go on. Throw the stick."

Grim Reaper - Hospital nursery

'I‘ll be relieved when they invent the aeroplane, these long trips are playing havoc with my wings'.