Mythical Matcher Gifts

"It's over between us, Kevin, I've met a most wonderful cod!"

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

Asking out a palm reader.

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

"I said, 'You must be waiting for 'Mr. Right,' too.'"

Angler poses with mermaid catch.

The Tennis Racket in the Stone

'If this is 'Office Team Day' why are we wearing different colours?'

"Men just won't leave me alone!"

"Evidence of Bigfoot or just some clown?"

'You're a water sign and I'm an earth sign. . .Together we're mud.'

"Sooo....my wife and I saw you from across the bar."

"He'd torch the castle and I'd rescue the damsel."

"Kip paints caves."

'Okay, this time we'll try for someone with a really good sense of humour.'

"The preacher's wife needs a new hobby."

"We're still working out the numerology for a name."

"Bloody Cyclops!"

Witch in bed reading: 'The Joy of Hex'.

Santa's close call with the Cow Jumping over the Moon.

"I feel like Brunnhilde, but in 'The Kentucky Cycle.'"

'I'm not eating it, not if it's been genetically modified.'

Online Dating

"Um...David, a word if we may."

'My name's Jeffrey. Will you be my Valentine?'

The Devil and an angel talk by the water cooler.

"Well Mom, thanks for setting us up, getting me to the restaurant on time, and getting the conversation started, but I think I can take it from here."

"He's cute...and look, he's been wormed."

'You are a cat person!'

"Opposites attract?"

"Whadda ya think? I really fancy the cute one."

COMPUTER DATING SERVICE, 'How about a nice fixer-upper?'

"Well I admit I might have photoshopped my online picture a bit!"