Mythical Hero Fan Gifts

St. George and the Dragon

'Take a few days off. Suck some necks ...'

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

Warrior Woman

Swiss army knife

"For the last time, I’m not Bigfoot — I’m Larry from Vermont!"

"I admire your enthusiasm, but you’re not really flying."

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

"You think you're a monster because you have poor self image."

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

"OK-WHO THREW THAT..??

No time for sirtaki now, Greece!

The Beer Garden of Eden: "This hard cider is life-changing. Try a sip."

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

"He never passes by without a mischievous smile."

"How can you expect anyone else to believe in you when you don't believe in yourself?"

"I always knew you'd come back."

Traffic Cone Monsters

Hot Tub Frosty

'Now that's what I call a really old tree!'

'Well, 2012 is the year of the dragon, after all!'

'Marshmallows ready! Now for the roasting...'

Dragon Graph

Sometimes it's easy to see if a swamp creature is on vacation.

"And make sure you get my daughter home before sunrise..!"

Adam and Eve, as old people.

'No, I won't be celebrating St George's Day.'

"Sorry Darling, you are fabulous, but I'm searching for MY Prince too!"

Going Down?

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

Scientist seen on loch.