Mystical Metal Monger Gifts

"When we're not casting spells we cast metals."

"Take the picture, dam it, take the picture!"

'Can you see the future of my 401(k)?'

"Your moon is in the House of Pancakes."

'Can you get me in touch with people that own me money?'

"He thinks he learned a new trick - I don't have the heart to tell him it's just an old trick he forgot he knew."

"Are you sure? It doesn't look like a diet pill!"

Madame Zola - Bitcoin futures

'This spreadsheet program has really been enhanced since I installed the Ouija board.'

"Oh my god. She knows I schist my plants.

'You're too heavy on metals and too light on equities.'

Plugged In

fortune teller and credit card.

"I can tell much more about you if I read your Palm Pilot."

'You'll be having extensive dental surgery...'

Scrapyard Worker

'The story you are about to hear is true, only the names have been changed to protect the innocent.'

'Will you be able to shrink their heads with just broad band connection?'

Fisherman takes home the mermaid he caught.

'Everything will turn to gold-but don't worry,it won't last....'

"Today, in Metalwork, we learned how to cut a slit in the heads of screws."

Profession : Cartoonist

'Have you hammered out the new rule book yet?'

"I always have chicken so I can study the entrails."

Kids say the damnedest things. . . which occasionally appear when they hear their names spoken.

"Hey buddy, you got a spare oil can?"

Will I ever meet a financial advisor who inerstands my needs and likes the same sports teams I do?

Crystal Balls.

"Were those pots of gold in any kind of interest-bearing accounts?"

Please listen carefully as our menu has changed...

Tarot Cards for Chickens

Buffering crystal ball.

"Oh, crap. Another worthless scrap of tin!"