Mystic Humor Pillows

'I predict you're going to ask me, "What's up with my crystal ball?" It was on sale.'

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

"We bring him gifts of gold, frankincense and mercantile mutual hedge fund options."

Game time.

'You see me coming here every week and paying you fifty dollars...'

Guru levitates while wife vacuums.

Arresting Adam and Eve

'..and one for the pot.'

"And now for the 'piece de resistance!'"

'You will go 3 for 5 tomorrow.'

'He says its a subprime fruit we can have at an adjustable rate, what's the worst that could happen?'

"All I'm saying is, why do we always have to sit on just one side of the table, all bunched up?"

Man asking lady if she cares for him

"Vous voyez quoi pour l'avenir de l'humanité?"

"Snake eyes again!"

'According to your love line, I should be calling a cop right now!'

Exam Questions Foretold

'Again. . . why are we expelling these two?'

Medusa turning everyone in the 'Hard Rock caf�' into rock

Wrong Address

'Madam Zelda sees all'

Madam Mae: Fortune teller - Fortune 500.

'Don't be daft,woman-of course I'm not gonna FRY her!'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Excalibur.

"It's Him. he wants us to lay off until the Fruit Board has published this year's crop results."

'Why don't we wear business suits and call ourselves marketing executives? We could make a lot more money.'

"Don't be so chintzy with the life line!"

Doctor using a crystal ball to diagnose patient,

"No Officer, but they will all make lovely trouser belts, shoes, or handbags."

"Oh, awkward - my ex. . ."

"Madam Zelda passed to the other side last week. Would you want me to get a message to her?"