Mystery Writing T-Shirts

Mystery Writing 101 - Mailbox: The butler did it, the gardener, the chauffeur.

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

Edgar Allen Poe

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

'Mysteries' section of bookshop reveals secret door.

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

Unfinished painting of a monster in a lake sits beside the lake with no painter in sight

"Elementary, my dear Watson- the cartoonist did it."

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

$1: Family Secrets

A Vase has fallen on a cat's head. Are mice to blame?

"I can never understand these foreign crop circles."

'We subpoenaed all of 'Mr. Big's' electronic messages. They're in morse code.'

Murder in Apartment 6-K

"My latest sighting turned out to be just another weather balloon."

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

The Shed Mystery: 'Ah! There you are! Ok, that's enough...time to go ho...uh...wait...what the...?'

The mysterious Sherlock Holmes - 'Is he wearing his cap backwards or forwards?'

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

"I've got a bad feeling about this."

"You're lucky someone was nice enough to turn it in."

"I said slime."

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'

"Either we spend millions on new technology to erase each agent's memory following a sensitive assignment, or we just start hiring people over fifty."

"I got those famous last words you wanted"

'Ah Mr Bond, I haven't been expecting you...'

I understand that our cat Magus died. I miss her a lot. But I wish my parents wouldn't tiptoe around it. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You don't have to watch Youtube clips of CSI: Miami to understand that death is a part of life. The thing I don't understand about our cat's death is, who would've killed her and left a mountain of unresolved clues that only a crack forensics team can figure out? Where were you at 8:45 p.m.? The Youtube Generation grows up fast.

"'A body at rest'? -- Are you writing murder mysteries now, Isaac?"

"So besides opera and lurking, what do you do to relax?"

"Elementary, my dear Quackson."

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

"You're either lying or not telling the truth."

"Wait, am I hear for you or are you here for me?"