Mycologist Gifts

'Of course I'll need to run some tests; but offhand I'd say it's some sort of fungus infection.'

'You are right; it does appear to be some kind of a fungus.'

"They're designer plaid, for God's sake. How poisonous can they be?"

"Fred, I think you're spending altogether too much time down here with these mushrooms!"

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

Magic Mushrooms

True Story: Each year strangers stop to pick mushrooms that grow at the front of our house. They assure us they aren't poisonous - but never return.

"Look away dear, there's that dreadful 'Phallus impudicus'"

'You look like a fun guy!'

Disease Management

"Tour de Frank"

'But Timmy, you have to eat your antibiotics, or you'll never become a big and strong bacteria.'

Scientist counting microscopic things he can see in his microscope

"I'm going to get you fired."

When bacteria trash talk to antibodies. Oh yeah?! You and what course of antibiotics?!

'Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest algologist of all?'

Down a the lab - Germs "So what will you do when you grow up?" "Oh the usual...divide,multiply,infect,kill.."

'That which does not kill me, make me stronger.'

"Pssst! - Gerald, you've mutated again. . ."

DNA Analysis.

'That new antibiotic seems to be working. Time to evolve again.'

Gene Therapy

"That new antibiotic seems to be working. Time to evolve again."

'It's a deal. You don't infect me, and I don't infect you.'

'Since Fleming already beat you to it with penicillin, I take it we can dispose of your week-old sandwich?'

There's Nothing Worse Than A Staff Infection

Footballer and Bacteria.

Viral Pathology Center (janitor finding three dead bodies)

"Hey!-This looks like a good place!"

"Are you sure this is a 'Flu virus?" "See for yourself...it's nose is running!"

We'll have to reproduce fast to defeat the antibodies! I get it! Divide and conquer!

'You tell me how to give them a fever, and I'll tell you how to make them cough.'

'A geneticist laid bare my genetic blueprint, and I feel violated.'

Until Bob entered her life, Lisa never even knew the meaning of the phrase 'acute multiple drug-resistant infection by transgenic Staphylococcus aureus.

'Not only was the superbug immune to antibiotics, but it had developed a taste for Dr Jones' whisky.'