Mold Specialist Gifts

"The mold cleaners are here! I gotta scram."

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

Disease Management

"Fred, I think you're spending altogether too much time down here with these mushrooms!"

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

There's Nothing Worse Than A Staff Infection

Medical Examinations.

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

Infection Control Center. Now Hiring. I should have said "I'm not afraid of hard work" rather than "I don't mind getting my hands dirty."

'Yes I'm afraid this room is bugged, but don't worry, it's just Clostridium Difficile'

'Relax Cookie. I'll call the mold monster experts!'

A consumer guide to cheese.

"Doctors, Gilby, Beam and Henson. Ears, nose and throat."

Proctologists' Office Party Games

'I'm referring you to a specialist who isn't as afraid to die as I am.'

'The bad news is you have a disease that only a highly-paid specialist can pronounce.'

"Is it just me, or is it humid up here?"

A proctologist by trade, Bob liked to spend his weekends out in nature.

'Of course, simple mistakes can be done by anybody, but to really mess up things, you need a specialist: me, the IT consultant!'

'I was hoping you could help me with an implant.'

Biocafeteraologist

"When's the last time you shaved, little buddy?"

Tonight's Lecture: Earth's Biodiversity at Risk. Obviously, they've never looked inside my refrigerator.

Trust Your Doctor

'How damp is this place? Let me put it this way: I use mold and mildew remover as a skin care product.'

Niche Marketing

Ward Cleaning.

Magic Mushrooms

"If we didn't fly, would we just be called 'butter'?"

"I can refer you either to Dr. Basinkski, a noted specialist, Dr. Hodge-Cabot, who is a pioneer in the field, or Charlie, a generic doctor who also does a very nice job."

'Of course I'll need to run some tests; but offhand I'd say it's some sort of fungus infection.'

"You need to see a specialer. They're like specialists, but less so."

"We're sending you to a specialist in Holland. The Dutch, as you know, are experts on tulips."

"He claims to be a specialist, but I think he just has a one-track mind."

At the animal perfume fair.