Mold Removal Specialist Gifts

'Relax Cookie. I'll call the mold monster experts!'

'I found the termites!'

'Oh no, it's the Burkes! You stall them here while I go fix my hair and don't let them roam around. Remember, once you have cockroaches in your kitchen, you'll never get rid of them.'

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

"Maybe the termite problem should take precedence over the chimney problem."

Giant Monkey sprays the pesty planes with 'fly spray'

'Dear, Junior ate his first house today!'

When cockroaches go unchecked.

'Do you have any properties with a termite infestation?'

"Take my hand, my love, and come with me to the cabin, where we can explore each other's naked bodies for ticks."

"Yes, Madame, Teletubbies."

'Looks like we're dealing with a mule deer infestation. I can get rid of them, but you'll have to wait until they're in season!'

A dog catcher catching a dog catching a cat catching a bird catching a fly.

Fighting the Zika Virus

'Ooops. Look at it this way: you won't have to worry about bee mites infesting your colonies now.'

Mouse Sidewalk Cafe

Flies up the ante!

"Well, you said you wanted something to remove spiders from the bath!"

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: The Pied Piper

"Noah, what do you think are the most dangerous animals you've brought abroad the ark?"

"it appears I'm being relocated"

"I got over DDT, and I'll get over you!"

"Let it go. You have to learn to pick your battles."

"You did order the chemical-free insecticide."

Product Testing Department

"You've got a real fungus problem. You'll have to move out until it's taken care of."

A consumer guide to cheese.

Spiders all over the place, "Hello, Guiness book of records?"

"About time they did something about the rats!"

"The mold cleaners are here! I gotta scram."

What did you think happens to all those vitamins that roll beneath the fridge?

"It's not the heat that gets you it's the ants."

"This wasn’t a mouse, ma’am — it was a cartoonist."

"For heaven’s sake, Rozlyn, just give him the darn plant!"

"Yep, it says "pesticide"! Not only are they trying to kill us, they also insult us by calling us pests!"