Mutual Fund Maven T-Shirts

'You're doing a little better since we deworsified your portfolio.'

'Our mutual fund management changed the name of the fund to clearly communicate their investment objectives. The fund is now called 'Make Money Anyway We Can'.'

The day the stock market went UP.

Great Chinese Dynasties

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

Guy has framed 'first Yuan'

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

'You're close, Spencer, but usually a business plan is a little more involved!'

'I think I know what the problem is!'

"Cash, Jordan. That's what separates man from the apes."

'Don't worry about it. If at first we don't succeed, we can do it later and get paid time-and-a-half for it.'

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

European currency on the edge.

"Remember, money is only a tool - to make more money."

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

"I'm not happy about what the economists are predicting."

Warning that Inflationary Policies Could Lead to Crash on Wall St

Slipping and sliding down the slope...

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

"I'm teaching him to rollover my 401 (k)."

'Tech stocks dropped on the finding that technology isn't neccessarily the best solution to everything.'

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'

Stock market Bull & Bear financial whirlwind.

'This is where I hang out until bullishness makes a comeback.'

'Why can't they call it a deer, or a squirrel market?'

'The Fed decided today not to raise or lower interest rates, but instead just moved them sideways a little.'

'Don't tell me how much you love me. Tell me how my stock is going.'

'Mixed news from the federal reserve...interest rates will drop on savings but will go up on loans.'

US dollar perched on fragile house of cards.

'Time to buy.'

"I was downgraded to junk status at work today."

'Stocks rose on the rumor that the market is mostly rumor-driven.'