Mutual Fund Fan Gifts

'Our customers don't want mutual funds that are an 'eclectic mix'.'

'Our mutual fund has changed it's name to better communicate their new investment strategy. It is now called 'Make Money Every Which Way We Can Fund'.'

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

Bank Loan Dept. Personal Business. Uh-oh, some loans have gone bad! A tennis pro defaulted and a novelist is in Chapter 7. The bed linens company folded and the scuba school went under! Are any of our loans still good? Yeah, the music streaming service is totally sound! And ironically, the lighting company is in the black!

LEMONADE 50 CENTS, 'I'm only seven years old -- I don't HAVE a credit rating yet!'

'I'm sorry I missed your recital. Daddy was on the phone with his broker, checking on bond yields. It's another form of bonding, son.'

European currency on the edge.

All bets are off as Round One begins in the "Dollars versus Donuts" World Championship title fight.

"I made money the old fashioned way. I inherited it."

"You can either make a pledge or join us in this weekend's Barkathon."

Economy - USA.

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'

What do you suggest we do about this?

Man pushing Euro sign up a hill.

'Not feeling well? Don't be silly - your EKG has outperformed the Dow.'

'Time to buy.'

'I enjoy the old-fashioned pleasures - a walk on the beach, plain food and piles of cash.'

"Our initial public offering, .... The public has gotten wind of it!"

'Of course I'm squirreling away money!'

'I became successful when my dreams changed from the Cary Grants of the world to federal grants.'

'We've gone to profit-sharing. But it's with the IRS.'

'Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once.'

'You go without me. I'm feeling a little down today.'

'This app is linked to my financial advisor and provides stimulated hand-holding when the market is down.'

The Contrarian funds

Piggy Bank Coin I.V.

'And this just in from the stock market... buy, sell, buy, sell, buy, sell, buy!'

'Stocks rose on news that '90% of success is just being there.''

"Good news on Wall Street today"

Circa 1490: The area we now know as Wall Street.

"It's a sci-fi-nance- when the DOW is 100,000."

Shareholders Meeting - We will be paying a dividend but I will not be announcing it here.

The Cashless Society is Here

Wall Street...