Mutual Fund Fan Prints

'Our customers don't want mutual funds that are an 'eclectic mix'.'

'Our mutual fund has changed it's name to better communicate their new investment strategy. It is now called 'Make Money Every Which Way We Can Fund'.'

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

LEMONADE 50 CENTS, 'I'm only seven years old -- I don't HAVE a credit rating yet!'

'I'm sorry I missed your recital. Daddy was on the phone with his broker, checking on bond yields. It's another form of bonding, son.'

"I made money the old fashioned way. I inherited it."

All bets are off as Round One begins in the "Dollars versus Donuts" World Championship title fight.

European currency on the edge.

"You can either make a pledge or join us in this weekend's Barkathon."

Economy - USA.

What do you suggest we do about this?

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'

Man pushing Euro sign up a hill.

'Not feeling well? Don't be silly - your EKG has outperformed the Dow.'

'Time to buy.'

'I enjoy the old-fashioned pleasures - a walk on the beach, plain food and piles of cash.'

"Our initial public offering, .... The public has gotten wind of it!"

'Of course I'm squirreling away money!'

'I became successful when my dreams changed from the Cary Grants of the world to federal grants.'

'Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once.'

'We've gone to profit-sharing. But it's with the IRS.'

'You go without me. I'm feeling a little down today.'

'This app is linked to my financial advisor and provides stimulated hand-holding when the market is down.'

Piggy Bank Coin I.V.

The Contrarian funds

'And this just in from the stock market... buy, sell, buy, sell, buy, sell, buy!'

'Stocks rose on news that '90% of success is just being there.''

'So, Pharaoh, what sort of collateral do you have to put down on this $2 billion Great Pyramid you want to build?'

'How do you expect the Government to bail you out of your financial crisis if you don't pay your taxes?'

"It's a sci-fi-nance- when the DOW is 100,000."

'Stocks were high...then low...then suddenly high again on news of a new drug to treat mood swings...'

"Good news on Wall Street today"

Circa 1490: The area we now know as Wall Street.