Mustache Muser Pillows

You're doing too much, Mort. I don't know what you mean. Optimum scruffiness is a delicate balance. One cannot have both wild hair and a wild mustache. It must be one or the other. What about Einstein? He was behaired all over the place. The only exceptions are for hobos, bikers and the big-brained. I rode my Huffy here, does that count?

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

"Sorry...but until we fix the cloaking device, this will have to do."

Changing Room Decisions

Your Guide to Winning Movember

"OK, now you can sing your heart out."

New Fads For The Handlebar Mustache

Facial hair continental drift.

Mr. Briggs' Adventures in the Highlands, part 8.

"Someone to collect your works, dear."

Two men discussing thier moustaches

'I warned him that this was no place for a guy with inner-ear problems.'

'I don't know - asceticism just doesn't seem like ENOUGH any more,'

No, "enlightenment" is on the next peak. I teach "ignorance is bliss."

"But am I happy? Very."

"I read the Tibetan Book of the Dead, but I wasn't Enlightened. . . but I did get the munchies."

'Mess with me if you have to, son, but not with the regimental moustache!'

"Can't you ever relax?"

The crew of the pirate ship 'The Bearded Lady' celebrate their greatest booty haul ever.

How to wear a false moustache.

Fifty ways to style your nasal hair.

"What a listener. My burden feels lighter already."

society of cartoonists...

Barbershop customer's reflection mocks his haircut.

Good golly! I'm some kind of bird!

A Moosetache.

'My mum can play the piano by ear.'

'Are you going to keep that silly mustache for all eternity?'

Hipster Ventriloquist Convention

'Are you SURE we're not allowed to telecommute?'

"There wearing masks during the COVID pandemic doesn't bother me really: I mostly recognise people by smell anyway..."

"I'm betting you don't buy that eye of a needle crap..."

'What would Nostradamus do?'