Musician Gifts

"I'm trapped in an elevator - wait, it gets worse."

Life Without Mozart

French horn.

Making a pact with the devil at the crossroads.

Things that bands can do

"And now a request from the audience."

"Can't you just whistle while you work?"

'I see. So what you're saying is that you woke up this morning and your woman had done left you.'

'Your performance review is next Tuesday. You're allowed to bring a guitar and up to three backup singers.'

Big Al's Banjo, Accordion, and Bagpipe Palace - Closed due to Geneva Convention

Piano-Tuning Bar

"I won't lie to you.Chopin's 'Funeral March' is a bad sign."

Ludwig van Beethoven

"Personally, I prefer a piano bar."

"We've got Tom O'Brien on bass, Nick Weber on drums, and Jonah Petchesky on contracts."

'Dear, it's time to pay the piper again.'

'The ants are, my friend, blowin' in the wind - The ants are a blowin' in the wind...'

"We tried six speakers, then twelve, and finally we put in the Pittsburgh Symphony, yet we still feel something is lacking."

Bob Dylan gets an electric toothbrush

"The next one is a hard-rockin', kick-ass, take-no-prisoners tune we wrote about turning sixty."

Italica

"Can't say I'm surprised. It's a notoriously difficult piece of music."

"This one goes verse, verse, chorus, train."

"I've always been a big Otis Redding fan."

"This next one is a typical blues number about exceeding your data plan limit, cracking your ipad screen, and losing your new ear buds."

Out of tuna

Cat symphony conductor

David Roy Eldridge

Renaissance mandolinist/lutist plugged into many amplifiers.

"I believe I already know most of you from the drum circle."

'Mind if I play the cello for dramatic effect?'

"Don't you know anything but 'Afternoon of a Faun'?"

Woody Shaw

'Come on... Come on... Throw the stick...'

"This next song's about spreading risk in a volitile market by diversification"