Musical Joke Teller Pillows

"He told his last viola joke that day."

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

"Canadian Mt. ‘Rush’more"

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

Shampoo.

How about going easy on the carbs

"This next one is my own quirky rendition of Berlioz's 'Symphonie Fantastique,' Movement 5, 'Dream of a Witches' Sabbath.'"

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

It's estimated that millions of trees are planted by forgetful squirrels.

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

'Hang on a minute: You're not going to transform into a Prince and leave me heartbroken, are you?!'

"I was going to play the Moonlight Sonata, but I forgot the key."

'The boss said I never made any profits and I never found customers worth mentioning and that's why he promoted me to the company's chief bad example!'

"I've put on a few ounces, but it's mostly paperweight."

"Not now, my love. I'm feeling preminstrel."

Drummer

"Excuse me ma'am, may I help you cross the road so that I can get the answer to this dumb joke my friend keeps telling?"

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

'But this is fantastic, professor! It's like no language I've ever seen before!'

'Mary had a little lamb - with mint jelly.'

'Our family has a dry sense of humor, and we don't laugh that much.'

Your Message on Your T-Shirt: 'Do As You Are Told!'

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

A crab with a utility knife claw

Baxter Higgleton, word balloon artist.

The Phantom Of The Garden

"They'll be expecting adagio. Go with the allegro."