Musical Club Member T-Shirts

"Howard, you've met my ukulele ladies before."

'Ok, here comes farmer Brown, put these on and remember.......act natural!'

"My mom says I can start a rock band if I call it 'I Love My Mommy.' You in?"

"I hope you're good, Charlie. I've only played a couple of times."

Clown answers the door to a custard pie in the face.

Maybe we should stop calling it 'The Masters.'

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

"You'll learn a lot at our book club...like how to read between the wines."

Niche Extracurriculars

'They are boneless, I didn't say anything about beaks.'

'Let me get this clear. You want me to give you paternity leave before the baby is born.'

"I compose using post it notes!"

'These are my 'golfing socks'... there's a hole in one!'

"No concert bookings for at least two weeks. Restringing..."

'... and in a startling development, 5 Supreme Court decisions were overturned by Judge Judy...'

Man sleeping with newspaper at gentlemen's club

Men drinking

Bass Clef

"It's not you. It's pea."

'Don't start an argument - you know how you hate intravenous feeding.'

'9K a year!? It's an outrage! At my level of attendance that's 3K per lecture!'

Pole Vaulting Club

"I want to report a race crime.'

The chefs were helping local actors who were tired of having short roles... by giving them a long loaf!

Anton Bruckner.

'What a huge disappointment. I thought French Club was about kissing!'

She always had her flute... just in case.

'It's yet another customer survey asking about our last oil change. Was it poor, fair, very good, blissful or orgasmic?'

'It's a deal -- I'll introduce a bill to bail out your country club, and you'll introduce a bill to bail out my country club!'

'I used to be a copper but now I play in a jazz trio - I'd give anything to get back on the beat.'

Actors' dispute.

'We are banned from reporting inside that country, so instead our correspondent joins us from the Dog and Duck, just around the corner.'

'He's lying about either a fish or his penis.'