Music Sleuth T-Shirts

"We don't sell CDs anymore. We sell colorful jackets for the music you download illegally."

music store

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

See, Catty-O? I told you dinner was included with admission.

Mysteries.

By the year 2500, 1 in 10 academics will devote their entire career to divining the meaning of the word 'sussudio'.

How hit songs get their names

"I'm majoring in Communications with a minor in Leaking!"

'Oh it's fantastic. It's my thirty fourth favourite sub-genre of progressive rock.'

Man trying to catch a saxophonist with butterfly wings.

'What kind of music would you like? Korean classical or Death Metal?'

"Good news, Grossman. As of today, short sleeves are O.K. around the office."

"I wore a wire last night to prove you really snore!"

"My libido?...What the hell does this even mean?"

Today, this humble feature attempts to answer one of the great quandaries of modern times. Is it Louie Louie, oh baby, my hair gotta grow? Wrong! What are the lyrics to the Kingsman's Louie Louie?* *Must be gleaned by listening. No peeking on the internet!

"If a tree fell into the marsh and there was nobody around to hear it and it landed on a mute swan, would it make a sound?"

You're being watched.

"Give me first chair or I tell everyone that you're unwinding with bro country."

"I do, I do, I do, I do, I do."

News of the Underworld

It's my turn to put you under electronic surveillance. Cops-n-Robbers-n-Identity Thieves-n-Corporate Investigators.

'Cops and Rubbers.'

Idenity Parade.

Wow! He can hear a song just once and then play it? Yeah, he has a phonographic memory!

"Worst opening act ever. Did you know what a vuvuzela is?" "What?"

"It's old Mister Banks, the wealthy, establishment art figure!"

Amongst the Culturati II.

Music theft.

'I said 'would you like to join the noise abatement society'?'

"Come back when you're sober, and we'll see if you still have that double vision."

"IT appears the deceased had been playing gangster-rap."

"We'll be late. We can't leave until we find out what's beeping."

"I'd like you to find him... get the Netflix password then lose him again."

Tale of the Tape

Beethoven