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'I'm with the band.'

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

'We had to donwsize.'

'Dubble Dawawg A.K.A. Diplo Matt A.K.A. Spyral A.K.A. Sheldon delman - noted rap artist'

"This next song is about narrow-minded record executives and their reluctance to take a chance on anything a bit different."

"You played yourself in your last picture. Everyone found it unconvincing."

'Yeah, a lot of people say I look like Elvis. I think it's my eyes.'

This next number is when we smash our guitars...

The Incredible Telly Presenter's Journey.

"I'm not sure if the audience is ready to embrace you in a romantic comedy."

"When I was young, music and lyrics were important! Now it's all about production...it's all jiggly butts, smoke, sexy clothes and crazy videos!"

Rescuing the Music Industry.

Antonio Banderas

'We've got 'Jumpin' Jake' Stevens on drums, 'Slick' Chuck on bass and 'Wasted Pete' Walthons on the trumpet.'

"It's always 'Get me a Godzilla type,' never 'Get me Godzilla!'"

Simon Cowell

"Hey! Your phone isn't turned on."

"Creative, imaginative, and fierce-these are just a few of the words that I'm reading off the teleprompter."

Showbiz

We learnt the art on Top of the Pops.

"What you ain't - is A GENT!"

The Murdochs '. . . Wendi, this channel'snot plugging any newscorp interests!'

"Don't we thing Arlene would make a perfect Medea?"

"The safest way back into the charts is a dramatic death after a party with girls, booze, and drugs!"

"Yeah, he's in rehab, but for the right role I can spring him."

Candlestick at Night

Attendance Has Dropped

"It's such a shame he died before being awarded the Nobel Prize for Literature."

'These f****** pop stars are setting really f****** bad examples with their b***** lifestyles.'

'Hey, Lady. . . that looks like a laptop to me. . . youze is obviously a P2P gangster. . . get in the trunk and lets go fors a little ride.'

"David Bowie, dead. Keith Richards, alive. Makes no sense."

"I'm the guy that got Willie Nelson on the road again."

"Ladies and gentlemen, I've been wonderful, you've been the audience - goodnight!"

"I've done it, Igor! I've created a pop group!"

"It's a doomsday scenario...I love it."