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Make your own pop band kit (only 3 month guarantee)

'Sniff, you moron, sniff!'

"I've done it, Igor! I've created a pop group!"

'The perfect country star...'

Showbiz

This next number is when we smash our guitars...

Amy Winehouse

You don't have to be tone deaf to work here but it helps.

'These f****** pop stars are setting really f****** bad examples with their b***** lifestyles.'

'...but I'm a solo act-why am I billed as 'The Dynamic Duo'?'

'Hey, Lady. . . that looks like a laptop to me. . . youze is obviously a P2P gangster. . . get in the trunk and lets go fors a little ride.'

Attendance Has Dropped

"I'm the guy that got Willie Nelson on the road again."

Rock N Roll

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

'Dude, touring with a punk rock band was fun, but what I'd really like to do is be CEO of a fortune 500 company.'

George Martin

'Dubble Dawawg A.K.A. Diplo Matt A.K.A. Spyral A.K.A. Sheldon delman - noted rap artist'

'Yeah, a lot of people say I look like Elvis. I think it's my eyes.'

"This next song is about narrow-minded record executives and their reluctance to take a chance on anything a bit different."

'I'm with the band.'

"Coming up... more of the same mindless pop songs with repetitive lyrics and nauseating melodies!"

'See, I told you - nobody's job is safe!'

"I just sold my entire back catalogue of songs for $185 million."

"When you said you were high up in the the music business..."

"Kanye's changing his name. I'm thinking he should go by Cra Z."

"I'm not sure if the audience is ready to embrace you in a romantic comedy."

'The music business.'

"Can you perform under pressure?"

If John Lennon had gone into strategic management.

'You look and sound like a real pro.'

Antonio Banderas

Rescuing the Music Industry.

"When I was young, music and lyrics were important! Now it's all about production...it's all jiggly butts, smoke, sexy clothes and crazy videos!"

"It's always 'Get me a Godzilla type,' never 'Get me Godzilla!'"