Music Industry Insider Pillows

Make your own pop band kit (only 3 month guarantee)

'Sniff, you moron, sniff!'

"I've done it, Igor! I've created a pop group!"

'The perfect country star...'

Showbiz

This next number is when we smash our guitars...

Amy Winehouse

You don't have to be tone deaf to work here but it helps.

'These f****** pop stars are setting really f****** bad examples with their b***** lifestyles.'

'...but I'm a solo act-why am I billed as 'The Dynamic Duo'?'

Attendance Has Dropped

Rock N Roll

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

'Dude, touring with a punk rock band was fun, but what I'd really like to do is be CEO of a fortune 500 company.'

"This next song is about narrow-minded record executives and their reluctance to take a chance on anything a bit different."

'Dubble Dawawg A.K.A. Diplo Matt A.K.A. Spyral A.K.A. Sheldon delman - noted rap artist'

"Coming up... more of the same mindless pop songs with repetitive lyrics and nauseating melodies!"

'I'm with the band.'

"Kanye's changing his name. I'm thinking he should go by Cra Z."

'See, I told you - nobody's job is safe!'

"I just sold my entire back catalogue of songs for $185 million."

"I'm not sure if the audience is ready to embrace you in a romantic comedy."

'The music business.'

"When I was young, music and lyrics were important! Now it's all about production...it's all jiggly butts, smoke, sexy clothes and crazy videos!"

Rescuing the Music Industry.

"It's always 'Get me a Godzilla type,' never 'Get me Godzilla!'"

Liz Ripple All-Girl band - an equal opportunity employer.

Miss T-T

Businessman sits below a chart showing falling music sales in notes.

"What you ain't - is A GENT!"

'This guy is recording our singing, but I can't see us getting royalties any time soon...'

"We've got Tom O'Brien on bass, Nick Weber on drums, and Jonah Petchesky on contracts."

"David Bowie, dead. Keith Richards, alive. Makes no sense."

"They don't care what Folkways is paying. They won't play after the moon sets."

Blues Music in a Litigious World