Music Punster Pillows

"I'm not that kind of pro-Bono lawyer."

'I'm trying to get a Handel on classical music, but I'm finding that it's one step forward and two steps Bach.'

"What's a cow doing in my classroom?"

'Jurassic Pork.'

Dogs life

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

'I'm going to try that 'vegan' thing, Joe -- give me some beer nuts.'

"Ugh! They always spell my name wrong?"

'You can't reject my manuscript without due process!'

Mystery of the Poets

Note Book

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

Optometrist Humor

A-Hem! I'm still singing here!

"No, I'm not a hare, I just happen to have big ears..."

'I'd never bite the hand that feeds me - but I won't pull its finger, either.'

Bill Johnson 1914-2000: Server Timed Out.

"I want to be upfront. At this point, I'm only looking for a casual hookup of Frankenstein."

"Norman is an island."

'My mom says an apple a day keeps the physician's assistant away.'

'Hey, Lady, this is a sixty zone!'

'I'm the veterinarian of Cheshire who spays and neuters Cheshire pets.'

"Your manuscript is utter trash, of course. How does a half-million first printing sound to you?"

Professional Cell Phone Accessories

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, all we ask for Mr. Whitman is poetic justice."

'I think he'll be okay. He had a mild brush stroke.'

Surfin' the web.

Baby Grand Larceny

Henry Grumble, an editor to the bitter end.

'I have a rasp in my throat.'

Timmy Gets Solitary.

'I hope you get an ice cream headache!'