Music Mythology Debunker Gifts

"New studies show that the so-called 'lucky man' made popular by the prog-rock band Emerson, Lake and Palmer was, in fact, just very well-connected."

'If you were disturbed by any issues raised, please call your mum.'

'I used to commute. Now I transform.'

"I don't care what you thought you saw,l there are no such things as people"

A knight sent to kill a dragon armed with a fly swatter

Vishnu playing twin neck guitar.

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

Govt. UK led by Seance

'Eve ate the apple, and she's asking if you want to make it two out of three with oranges and bananas?'

A man holding a hammer watches a mummy unravel itself

"For decades we lemmings have been jumping off cliffs. Dude, it's time to evolve!"

If you play this record backwards you can hear xmas carols and heavenly choirs...

Great script, great cinematography, great everything. But the whole 3D thing is lost on me.

'Of course I've done something about Lady Godiva -- I had security cameras installed all over town!'

"Do I still believe in Santa Claus? I don't even believe in Congress."

Orpheus and his violin

Tall stories

'Magazine, yes. Book, maybe. Musical dance - never in a million!'

Rational explanations

"Say, Buddy. . . do you pick-ups as well?"

"Maybe Dracula wasn't the best one to try this new detergent."

Pandora's other box

'There are those who say that in America the streets are paved with excrement.'

'I did create man in my image, but man evolved.'

Do you realise the gravity of this situation?

"It's okay, I'm actually just a flamboyantly-costumed osteopath."

'I know you lost six nil, but why did you clout that little boy?' - 'He's our lucky mascot.'

"It's the five-second rule, Tia Carmen! If you eat it before five seconds, it's OK!"

"Ouch!"

God at the Galalactic Videostore

'No thanks - When I finish this drink I'm going straight to hell.'

"It's all marketing - no one actually wears that stuff."

"Of course, the whole lemming suicides thing is a myth ? the reason for these deaths is that mass migrations can last many months and lemmings become too tired to avoid cliff edges. Except Derek, but he always was a miserable bastard."

'Don't distract me now: I have only a few seconds to text myself a reminder before I forget...'