Music Industry Professional Pillows

"Mostly Mozart, nothing. It's all Mozart or no Mozart."

Bombast records 'In' tray and 'Phat' tray

"Sorry guys, the labels decided it's time to give up touring."

Miss T-T

"Some of the world's best musicians died in 2016. If you wait to die any longer, people might think that you're a loser!"

Blues Music in a Litigious World

"Coming up... more of the same mindless pop songs with repetitive lyrics and nauseating melodies!"

Liz Ripple All-Girl band - an equal opportunity employer.

Record Company Executive to rock star, "Your drug taking has caused a public outcry! I think with a new album out, we should look at you, thumping a fan, terrorising a 747, you know the sort of thing."

Businessman sits below a chart showing falling music sales in notes.

Sir Jimmy Savile

Lost job due to downloads. Please help.

"Hey - Fantastic News - thanks to the 'vinyl comeback' saddoes, we can now re-release AND charge up to £30 for an album....and start making obscene profits again!!!"

"Kanye's changing his name. I'm thinking he should go by Cra Z."

"They don't care what Folkways is paying. They won't play after the moon sets."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

"I wrote this one after my third startup failed. It’s called ‘I Got Yer App Right Here.’"

"We need to sue, claiming free speech is being violated by remotes with fast forward buttons."

"If you get married at the Grammy Awards, can your marriage be annulled at the Country Music Awards?"

The GODFATHER Ride 25¢

"This next song is about narrow-minded record executives and their reluctance to take a chance on anything a bit different."

'Dubble Dawawg A.K.A. Diplo Matt A.K.A. Spyral A.K.A. Sheldon delman - noted rap artist'

"I'm thinking action roles might not really be your thing."

The First 3-D Thanksgiving

'The Final Merger'

"We interrupt this rubbish to give you another chance to switch off."

'Our ratings are down. Let's blame it on the media.'

"I just sold my entire back catalogue of songs for $185 million."

This next number is when we smash our guitars...

Trump commissions song

"I can sleep late, but, as his agent, I still get ten percent of the worm."

"In this business the ball takes funny bounces. I got you a recording contract."

Actors getting married. 'Best supporting man'