Music Analyst Gifts

Schenker discovers the true essence of humanity

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

In the Guru District

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

Light Bulb Moment

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

"I think I'll be late back for tea. . . about a week."

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

The Life of Pi

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

"Morning, all!"

Lethal Presentation

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

'If only every year was an election year.'

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

Press Freedom

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

Time Is Money

A presenter with a very complex chart to explain a business plan - 'And it's as simple as that!'

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

Studies show foods work miracles!

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

"Perhaps this slide whistle can better illustrate what this graph is telling us."

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

There's a crew here from 60 minutes and they're coming this way.

'We're holding our own, but I'd really like to see some growth.'