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The Neapolitan Museum of Art

'It's either very good or very bad.'

"Of course it's an egg...but it's a chicken to those of us with vision..."

“I like this painting because it has a bench.”

Natural History Museum: Tree

"Fortunately, I think we have an extremely accurate copy of it in the museum's gift shop."

Couple Sitting in Front of A Sunset.

'They're extinct now but when I was young you'd find these everywhere...let's go to the next gallery they've got a 'bobby on the bear' and a 'postman' there.'

'I was young I needed the money . .. '

General Practitioner Museum

'It's titled 'Art Thief'.'

'This creature is supposed to have existed when the Earth was cooler, but so far no archaeological evidence has been found.'

'These are humans. Normally they are quite harmless, but if you touch their food or make fun of their beliefs they can become VERY aggressive.'

"Personally, I'm a doer."

Evolution

'Remember use your museum behavior, not your art gallery behavior.'

'No, Timmy, we are not supposed to connect them.'

'I think it's one of those guided tours.'

"Instead of 'It sucks' you should say, 'It doesn't speak to me.'"

Old man mistakes tattoos for exhibit in art museum.

'Amazing isn't it? The eyes seem to follow you around the room.'

'And here, the artist is clearly making an ironic statement about the fleeting nature of material possessions.'

Art Museum field trip.

The Last Mosquito

Museum of Mediocre Art.

The Masters' Early Works.

Educational Experience Ahead.

'Sir, that's the burglar alarm.'

"It's too good. I think it's going to be a forgery, not just a copy."

"Notice how her eyes follow your bluetooth-enabled visitor badges around the room."

Tree in a museum.

'Museums are a lot like flea markets...except nothing's for sale.'

Dog finds a nice bone at the museum.

Painting blowing on man at art gallery.

"Do we want the label, too?"