Museum Visiting T-Shirts

'My dear boy its a wonderful display of post modern expressionism with overtones of Dada.'

This is not a pipe/bill/check.

'I like the frame.'

"I know more about art than you do, so I'll tell you what to like."

'Poor thing. He got left out in the acid rain.'

Arnhem Drop

'If he'd married you, Ingrid - He'd have cut off both ears!'

'A picture says a thousand words or six, in this case.'

'Notice how the eyes follow you out of the room.'

Modern Art Warning

Whe did you last see our Vermeer ?

the statue

Vincent Van Gogh's family reunion Family members with ears missing or bandaged up

'The Gallery' Featuring Graffiti Art, Next to Actual Grafitti.

'Crikey where am I going to get the class case from?!'

'...and he refuses to discuss the question of whether this is a serious work or a hoax.'

'That must be the thinking man's crumpet.'

Guide reading book called 'A farewell to arms.'

'A bad Picasso is still better than a good wall!'

'Hands off! That's not a touchscreen.'

Museum of Wine: Please don't drink the exhibits.

"This landscape from his later period has a series of planes receding into the distance...the clouds which resemble little doggies."

"That's a rotary phone, from when people used their forefinger to call instead of their thumb."

Black Hole Corks

No dogs in the museum allowed

"An intellectual is a man who can look at a Mondrian without thinking of Battenburg cake."

US Political Compromise

"This one speaks to me."

Bones

"Throw it, throw it!"

Smile!

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Millman's Dead Cat Museum and Curio Shop

"He had the Guggenheim in mind, I think."

"I dreamed Mobil was sponsoring me at the Modern, Exxon at the Whitney, and Philip Morris at the Metropolitan."

"Wow! You mean they got all of this in exchange for just one van Gogh?"